see a lot of tween and teen girls in my practice of psychotherapy, and many of them have problems with their body image. Some feel bad about their bodies because they don’t have as many curves as their friends, but most feel bad because they think they’re too “fat.” “I want to lose weight”—I’ve heard this from hundreds of girls, some as young as 9 years old. As parents, it may be hard to believe that our wonderful daughters don’t see the beauty in themselves. But I think parents need to be aware that most girls do struggle with body image at one time or another.
Many factors influence a girl’s body image, or how she thinks, feels, and experiences her body. These can include:
- her ethnicity
- the community she lives in
- sports she plays
- how and when her body changes and develops
- how family and friends react to her body, and how they feel about their own bodies
- accidents or illnesses
- abuse
Media images also can influence a girl’s body image. These images often give girls the idea that they should look like a prescribed, usually very thin, body type in order to be considered “popular” and attractive. These images are often photo-shopped and airbrushed, and our girls are bombarded by them. In fact, studies show that by the time a girl is 12, her mind has been exposed to more than 77,000 advertisements!
These images do affect our girls. Studies show that 50% of teen girls say advertisements frequently make them feel the need to lose weight; research also tells us that 77% of girls between 10 and 14 feel fat, ugly, depressed and/or disgusting when they look at pictures of models and celebrities. Even girls in the 1st grade have reported that they wish they were thinner!
So how can we, as parents, help our girls? One way is to encourage them to give themselves positive self messages—I call these “Special Statements” in my book, Picture Perfect: What You Need To Feel Better About Your Body. Special Statements, such as “I’m strong, not fat” or “I’m a creative chick, not a carbon copy!” can help neutralize negative body image messages that girls are exposed to everyday. They can also help increase a girl’s self esteem and self-care behavior.